Embracing who we are
As I continue to move through deeper layers of fear to embrace my True Divine Self even more, I was gifted this little wink from the Universe. But for it to make sense, I gotta give a bit of background, for those not failiar with my Journey.
My Twin and I have gone from spending the most wonderful 2 weeks when we met, to utter silence since we "parted ways" on march 2017. And yet, the deeper I choose to heal, the more nudges I see. Our communication is still not very fluent, but it is improving. When I would reach out to him believing him to be my Source, I would barely see any of my messages replied, but now, this is slowly changing, as I work on surrendering how or when he'll be interacting with me, as I know now God is my Source and me and my Twin Flame are One at our core.
There are many details to our journeys, which are impossible to fit in an article, but I did wanted to share this piece, because I believe it is God speaking clearly about my journey, specially in regards to my Life Purpose, which is where my main focus is right now.
A few weeks ago God invited me on a date, to which I agreed. I took my laptop with me so I could continue working on translating Jeff & Shaleia’s book. But, of course as it would often happen, whenever I have trouble trusting the process and allowing myself to relax (one of my "biggest" blocks, even Fred pointed out to me when we met), my laptop/computer slows waaaaaay down (more than usual, considering they are rather old at this point).
While on my date with God, I felt the nudge of sending my Twin a kind "how's it going?", without expecting a reply, at least not that same day. But within an hour or less, he replied with a friendly "I'm fine, how are you?". At first I replied I was doing fine and barely scratching the surface of the actual frustration I was feeling at that moment. I did what I'd often do, brush my true feelings off and sugarcoat them with a silly joke. When I realised this, I made a different choice, I chose to be honest and open with him about how I trully felt right there and then. I expressed my frustration with the translation, to which he inmediately replied he was also feeling quite similar about the Thesis he is working on to get his Degree. We were able to briefly connect in that space for we were feeling the same. Not long after, he would share something his Professor once told him about not procrastinating and just get it over with. It echoed clearly, he was helping me find this place within me where I'd self sabotage, only to make myself feel bad about it, and hence, not worthy of love. I thank him. And we went back to our "non-communication" stage, where he'd still not see my latest messages.
But the evening wasn't over, God had yet something else in store for me. He kept suggesting we go to the movies together, to have the night out, since my kid was staying at his dad (something that doesn't happen very often).
I wasn't very sure about the movies plan, as there wasn't really anything on screen I felt drawn to, but God suggested watching the new version of The Lion King, to which I agreed. I know by now when God suggests something, there's always meaning and purpose for it. And of course, that was again the case. (I'm starting to believe this might be "OUR" movie for a various number of winks, anyway)
I was doing my best to both relaxt and grasp God’s message for me in the movie. It would only start to click a few days after having watched the movie.
As many of us know, Simba, being a young cub, wanted to become King to do as he pleased His wishes to be King were more Ego based than in alignment with God’s plan. This is also how I'd often feel when growing up: I wanted to be an adult to be free to do whatever the f*ck I wanted.
It wasn't until Simba's pride (Ego) lead him into his uncle's trap (also moved by his own pride and desires to take the thrown all to himself - Ego again) that Simba looses his father through a traumatic experience, and believing it is all his own doing, he then runs off, drenched in fear, guilt and sadness. He abandons his home to end up on some lost desert, where he is set to abandon himself. Until Pumbaa and Simon end up finding him.
It is in this scene when God even trolled me about watching this movie, as in the 1994’s original version, this scene was quite different. But in this version, Pumbaa insistently asks Simon if they can keep Simba, sort of as a pet, and Pumbaa literally asks: "can we name him Fred?"
Though I haven't run from my home at an early age, I do know my Twin did something that got him be kicked out of his parents house when he was younger. Nontheless, this part of the movie may clerly refer to that moment in which we also fall for the illusion of Ego and fear, and "run away" from God's Home, often seeking to numb out from our feelings and traumas. To resume, after Simba learns how to pretty much numb out to his feelings, it isn't until Nala suddenly finds Simba (meeing our Twin Flames) that he realises he can't run from himself all of his life. When Simba makes the choice of seeing who he trully is, Rafiki (a sort spiritual guide) helps him find himself and after that moment, Simba chooses to go back home, and claim his rightful place as King (not from Ego, but in aligment with God, the Circle of Life).
Though at first I was seeing the movie through the eyes of this journey, I realised how this story was speaking to me regarding my Life Purpose.
Since as long as I can remember, I've been guiding people however I could but most times that wasn't seen nor received. I would also remember feeling like I just didn’t quite fitted in, and would often times be met with anger from those around me, who would seek to pin their upsets on me, instead of seeing the Truth of me revealing them their upstes. This led me to build a fear around believing I could be attacked/persecuted for speaking my truth.
After tying all this together, and choosing to go deeper into God's design for me, I was about to go to bed, when I felt like checking facebook one last time, and this new profile pic of Frederik was the first thing on my feed. FYI, Frederik does not engage in facebook all that much, and he barely uploads any pictures, if ever. His last profile pic was changed on march 2018. And yet here he is, on a full body picture (which also, hasn't happened in like...ever), as a sign of confirmation that I'm doing my best to come out of my own shell and embodying the Truth of who I am as a Divine Child of God.
Freeing ourselves from fear is the best gift we can ever give to ourselves, choose it and commit to the process, that's all it takes to receive the Gift of God, and therefore, your Twin Flame.
And for all the numerology junkies out there, here are some interesting facts:
1994, the year the movie was released, I was 11 years old.
1+9+9+4 = 23 = 5
The new version of the movie has been released in 2019, 25 years later
2+5 = 7
5+7 = 12/3
2+0+1+9 = 12/3
Being 3; 5 and 7 our ruling numbers in our Union.