Becoming One with God: peeling off the fake armour
It’s been a while since I’ve written an update on my journey, and I feel is time to catch up and share what has been going on lately.
At the beginning of last October 2019, I claimed my Perfect Union with God when talking with a friend about our journeys. And it wasn't long after that I chose to claim my session with MAP (MindAlignementProcess.org). It was only after going through the free screening, in which one of the MAP practitioners maps the traumas you are seeking to heal, that I saw just how much I was still running and hiding in fear as this 3-year-old girl. Luckily, this is starting to fall away as I keep peeling those layers of fear to allow the real me to come through.
Going back to the whole process, I allowed the purging to take place so I could get ready, face and heal those traumas for good! After the session took place, God -again provided without hesitancy. He answered the one question I have been asking Him for so long: when was my first choice of separation been made. He showed it to me clearly, and everything just clicked. God was even showing me how every time I chose to come back to Earth all I was looking for was to find a way to heal this from my consciousness and how perfect it had all been so that I would find Jeff & Shaleia’s work and hence MAP.
Since my MAP session, all I do is face, peel and let go of ALL the garbage and fear that's been standing in "between" me and God. Every here and there I still move through the upheaval, which I sometimes find very challenging, but I'm also finding new relief in knowing how safe it is to be me and how much I want to embrace all of who I truly am. Thanks to this experience, it was easy to see how having a healthy relationship with Fred would have been impossible while carrying all these wounds and traumas. I'm happy I got to do this for both of us (since we are actually One) for now I can finally know what it’s like to live a trauma-free life, and how safe it to express myself authentically. I keep learning to let go of the fear I've been living with my whole life to find the peace I've been seeking all along and learning to move from that place. For example, when I called in my MAP session and made the choice to heal, I also manifested a new job opportunity that could co-exist with my current one as a Coach/translator. this was interesting to see because one of the first things we are told after our session is to "take it easy". And of course, I did quite the opposite since I was now uprooting the old patterns of living in constant stress, feeling endangered and fearful all the time and feeling like I have to rush and get everything done or else everything "will fall into pieces". So, when I was hitting the 1st week mark after the session I was feeling a lot of resistance towards this new job opportunity and I had a hard time finding the clarity I so much needed in order to be assertive in moving forward with it. After 3 or 4 days of feeling rather bad about the whole thing, I was finally able to see the pieces of the healing that were coming back up to be released.
The process after a MAP session is actually quite simple: to keep reinforcing the choices made throughout the session. The one that keeps being recalled is the one I still forget rather easily: to remember I can have a voice and an opinion in my life. That I can voice my choices and set boundaries, or even, set the pace in which I do things. Something I like about this whole process is how I'm coming to terms with who I am. Little by little I'm embracing those parts I would often neglect or reject about me. I'm fine with being the person who finds the things that need to be fixed while having the key to present the solution. I love being the person who will seek to do things differently, because I see clearer and clearer that I'm not meant to follow, but to lead (this doesn't mean I don't get to be guided too, a good leader is also one that knows when to let themselves be guided by those who came before them. And I trust the ones who are leading me in becoming the leader that I am).
There are, of course, some challenges, as one integrates the healing of a MAP session. In my case is to remain present with myself and feeling confident whenever I feel called to set boundaries with others or to express myself. I grew up believing I wasn't allowed to do that, which of course, it's not true, but I still find myself being rather lost in this place. I also picked up on this tendency to hold on to the old because I know it, instead of letting it go and remain open to receive what new life has in store for me. But honestly, this is not a good policy, it's meant to fall away simply because it does not serve me to remain with the old. I already know where it leads, and funny enough, it's what has brought me to where I am today. I can see that it's never me who is falling away, but the old parts of me, the versions of me that are no longer aligned with who I want to be moving forward. It feels so relieving when I choose to let the old go. I also feel very empowered and peaceful when I honor myself and remain present with how I'm feeling.
There's so much power in peace. I'm feeling much better as I am being given chances to keep discovering facets of my self-expression without those layers of seeking to be validated by others, nor the fear of setting boundaries when I feel called to, nor the "urge" to hide them out. I also see there is this learning curve to knowing who I am on a deeper level, but the things I'm finding out about myself so far are beautiful and I like embracing them and accepting them as the truth of who I've always been underneath my attempts to hide myself out. It is so relieving to know I can set the tone for my relationships and how I choose to live my life without feeling like I have to explain myself to others, make things fit even when they don't or even say yes to things that aren't in my highest interest. This whole healing journey is so freeing and empowering, I almost can't believe I wasn't choosing this loving way of living before. I really don't have to hide under pretexts or excuses. Neither need I show a version of me that I'm not. Yes, I am straight-forward, blunt, and very clear in my thinking. I'm good at what I love doing. I am the one person who will make noise (metaphorically speaking) almost anywhere I go, and I LOVE THAT. I love how unique I am, even when I still have things to learn. And that's ok too. But most of all, I love that I don't have to be scared of any of this anymore (I'm crying tears of joy ❤️). I am blessed to be able to see my patterns of isolating myself and/or escaping from being present with myself because when I see them clearly, I am given the chance to make a new and different choice. What's funny is that I saw this clearly in my Twin after we met, and now I can see clearly how he was mirroring it back to me so I could heal it within.
Things with Fred are moving along perfectly. Though we still talk very little, I came to understand how much we both needed this space to heal and to learn to be in touch with ourselves first. Seeing this has made surrendering him to God even easier. I no longer go crazy if he doesn't reply at once, I don't get as jumpy as I used to whenever I'm delightfully surprised by his replies, and I even get to wake up to some of his messages from time to time. Which no one will deny is a great way to start off the day. Truth is, we both love our personal space, so it's only fair I learn how to honor that in him and in me as well.
How can all this be perfect? Because since doing this work all I keep claiming is deeper peace and deeper healing. That's all I want because in doing that I claim my Perfect Union with God. That is all I have ever wanted since I started learning about spirituality back when I was 18. And God has not only heard me but has been loving me perfectly every single step of the way. Every single second of this fake illusion of separation was what was needed for me to take these steps and make these choices of wanting to be One with myself again, and of course, with God. And guess what happens when you align yourself with the Truth of who you were created to be as a Divine Being and when you learn to love yourself completely?…* Hint, you love ALL of yourself, and hence, you see this being perfectly reflected back at you by your beloved Twin Flame.
Ready to heal the blocks and upsets on your Twin Flame journey and in your Union? What are you waiting for? Choose to claim your support and to receive the love that is here for you!